Warmer
by walkthatlonesomevalley
Summary: Amy and Karma are stranded in a storm with only one sleeping bag to keep them warm.


**Warmer**

**Part I**

It wasn't supposed to be a big deal but things got out of hand. Principal Penelope planned this whole trip up to the ski resort. The rich kids would get to ski and chill out. The poor kids would get to ski and earn some money. It was supposed to be a win win. A well thought-out fundraiser courtesy of Princess Penelope the one adult who tried her best to give us all the time of day despite our many misguided and horrible deeds.

Well… Things have a way of changing and those perfect plans ended up spoiled when a big storm hit and trapped me and Karma in the dinky wooden help-shack halfway down the mountain with no way to communicate our whereabouts and no method to call for help or rescue on a night like tonight.

"Wh-what's wrong?" I asked.

"It's dead…"

"What do you mean its dead?!" I rushed to her and took the walkie talkie out of her hands, hitting it hard onto my palm and trying it again. The dial turned but no sound was heard and no light flashed. "SHIT!"

"Shit…" Karma sighed, holding her elbows and walking towards the window so that she could stare out at the rapidly building storm. "I should've known something was wrong. We were playing that game for hours and no one called us."

"It's not your fault! I didn't notice either." From behind I stayed and watched as Karma slowly moved to pull her cellphone out of her pocket and look at it. She turned to me slowly.

"Anything?" I asked hopefully from my spot on the floor. We had been playing cards on a blanket. The help station was the most useless job of all. Our only job up here was to sit around in case anyone needed to contact the main land before finding their way to the bottom. Suffice it to say, no one ever needed help! That was half the reason we liked this job and took it when Shane offered.

"No signal…"

"Fuck…"

"I know…" The more I watched, the more I realized that Karma was scared.

"Do you think they'll find us?"

"Amy, are you insane? Nobody knows we're here."

"Yeah but... What about Shane?"

"Shane is probably halfway to Austin by now. Nobody knows we're here, we didn't tell anyone. The hours log when we leave, not when we come."

"Oh… Right..."

"Right…" Karma was acting so defeated. She looked almost sick.

"Are you okay?"

"No Amy, I'm really not…"

"Wh-what can I do? Can't I do something?! I hate seeing you like this." She tucked her arms around her body more but cracked a smile at my desperation.

"It's getting cold, we've gotta find a way to keep warm or we'll die up here."

At some point in our time on the mountain the heat in the cabin had stopped working. We both thought it was just one of those automatic things but ever since the sun had gone down and the wind began to howl we'd been wearing our jackets and ignoring the cold outside that was slowly seeping in. We were both just itching for our time to be up. Fidgeting inside the cabin on the ground. Ignoring the angry wind and the storm outside.

Technically our shift would be over in one hour. But no one knew that… No one but us.

Last time I checked, the snow was piling up outside. There were already a couple of feet. I was too scared to open the door now. We both should've called for help a while ago but we thought it was a normal storm. The snow on the slopes had to come from somewhere. Why would snow be alarming? Plus, if we had called down to the lodge Penelope would've sent us to watch all the crazy kids. We'd done that once before and it was the worst. Cards on the ground in the small help cabin up the mountain was much more appealing than babysitting several spoiled brats in the lodge.

Up here we could talk about things and no one else could hear. I liked it… Maybe I liked it too much. Maybe I liked it enough to ignore the wind and ignore the fact that we hadn't heard a voice in hours. Maybe I liked it enough to get us both killed.

"What are you thinking?" Karma asked, breaking me from my thoughts. I felt my face do that weird thing it does where I frown before I smile. I always suck at lying.

"We have to have candles. There has to be something in these cupboards. Maybe they plan for this? This is an emergency help station. They have to plan for this." I could feel myself unraveling just a bit.

Karma looked at me the way she always did. She looked at me like I was the cutest most innocent idiotic human being on the face of the planet.

"Don't, okay?"

"What?"

"I know I'm stupid, you don't have to tell me."

"I didn't say anything," she scoffed tenderly, walking near me. I felt her hand touch my arm as I pulled at the wooden cupboards, stopping at her touch but refusing to turn around. "Hey," she said. "You're not stupid… You're sweet."

I calmed a little, trying hard not to panic. In the cupboard I found candles, matches, a few energy bars, a tiny first aid kit, and one rolled up sleeping bag. There was other stuff but it was weird. There weren't even extra batteries for the walkie-talkie.

The station was just supposed to be a convenient stop for advanced skiers on the steepest longest slop in the resort.

I took the sleeping bag in my hand and felt it.

"Here," I said, tossing it over to Karma.

"Oooo!" She squealed. It would at least help for now.

Karma undid the strap and laid it out. It was a mummy-shaped bag, which was something I feared but didn't expect until it happened. I'd seen so many of those shows where people almost froze to death because they were stupid.

"Minus 20!"

"Huh?" She had been reading the tag on the side.

"It says it stays warm in minus 20."

"Oh," I responded, trying not to appear quizzical. That was all fine and great that it would be warm in there but the bag was obviously meant for a single person and not two.

Karma stood up and began to take her jacket off. Outside the wind howled louder.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting in, come on," she said.

"What?" I laughed. I stood up and walked to the window to look out. Maybe we were over reacting. Maybe the storm wasn't that bad. I had almost reached the window when I felt her hand in mine.

"Amy, your hands are freezing," she said matter-of-factly.

"I'm fine," I shrugged. Out of habit I pulled my phone from my jacket and checked it again. Still no signal.

"Fine," she said, taking her shirt off and her pants and crawling inside the mummy bag. I sat down on the chair and turned sideways to face her. She snuggled in and smiled.

"Better?" I asked.

"Much!" She smiled.

"Karma… Do you think we'll be okay out here over night?"

"It's not like we have much of a choice," she sighed. She was obviously doing that thing she did where she pushed her fears away and tried to be optimistic about things. I turned away. The more I watched her the more I remembered how I could never be what she wanted. I couldn't believe I had been careless enough to get us trapped. We wouldn't even be in this situation if it wasn't for me.

"Amy?"

"Hmm…" I had curled up on the chair with my feet up on the lip so that I could hold my body in close and try to warm myself.

"You're going to have to get in here with me. You do know that right?"

"Karma…"

"You can be warm now or you can be warm later."

"I'm not cold like you. I'm fine."

"I felt your hands."

"That bag is really small." I didn't think she'd make me say the obvious. The thought of being that close to her was almost arresting. We hadn't been that close in weeks. Ever since the sleepover I'd set boundaries, we'd always slept away from each other. It was a good thing. I needed that space. I needed to not feel like a creepy creep who can't even breathe around her best friend.

"It's fine, we'll fit fine."

"I don't want to," I said quietly.

"You'd really rather die than hold me all night?"

"Karma…" She knew the answer to that. "I'd rather hold you all night than do anything else in the world. That's the whole problem."

"I think this is just one of those times when you're going to have to make an exception."

"Easy for you to say…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's not going to mess with your head if I get in that bag."

"Mess with my head?"

"Yeah, and your body…"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to talk about it…" I felt my leg twitching. This conversation wasn't one that I wanted to have. I was suddenly irrationally thirsty.

"I'm going to get out if you don't get in."

"Please don't."

"Either we die together or we live." I turned to look at her. She didn't understand.

"You're asking me to sleep with you."

"It's not like we haven't done it before."

"You're not even wearing pants."

"And it's not like we haven't done it before," she laughed a little. I was obviously getting on her nerves.

"What does it feel like for you…" I began.

"What?"

"You're attracted to him. You want him all the time. Right?"

"Yeah," she said, in that way she was used to speaking about him. She always brushed everything off and pretended it wasn't a big deal. Even when Lauren asked her about sex she shrugged it off. I dunno why she does that…

"What if he were here instead of me?"

"What?!" She laughed.

"What if you were stuck with him in here. Would you get in the bag?"

"Definitely."

"It's different though…"

"How is it different?"

"You know he wants you." I gulped, turning away. "Anything you feel when you're touching him, he's probably feeling it too."

"Amy, we'll just sleep. Nothing else."

"Just think about what that would feel like."

"I like that you want me."

"Yeah but you don't want me."

"So…"

"So…" I felt like crying really. Why was it so hard for her to understand. "So.. It doesn't feel good Karma. It hurts okay."

I watched out the window as the snow flew by so quickly it appeared that it was nothing but a blanket of white out there. My eyes clouded with tears as I tried to hold them back.

Karma rustled behind me. Soon she was out of the bag and up on her feet. "Amy…" She said.

I felt Karma's hand on my shoulder but I didn't move. Instead I just held my legs into my body and stared out the window at the storm. It was getting colder.

**Part II**

Karma tried that once and gave up. I think the situation stressed her out so she checked out of it. She climbed back into her sleeping bag and fell asleep.

While she was out I tried to find batteries in the cabin but there was really nowhere else to look. I did find some water though. The storm outside was so terrifying.

Eventually I sat down again and fell asleep. It was cold but I was trying to block that all out.

I woke soon after to Karma shaking me.

"AMY! AMY! WAKE UP!" She was almost yelling. I stirred slowly, my lids barely lifting.

A huff of air came out of my mouth and I could see it.

"AMY! AMY?"

"Wha-what?" I asked slowly, feeling the cold in my mouth and my throat. I was shivering. My jaw couldn't stand still.

Karma pulled my arms and unzipped my coat.

"HEY!" I said angrily. She was undressing me fast.

"You're cold as ice!" She yelled nervously. "Come on! Hurry!"

She yanked me up off the chair and I could feel that even my legs were cold.

"Take of your shoes," she ordered, pulling my jacket off and then undoing my pants.

"HEY!" I yelled, my hands rising to stop hers.

"No! You are getting in that bag with me right now!" She ordered.

When I tried to stop her again she slapped my hands hard.

Her hands were warm.

"Fuck…" I exhaled, angry with myself.

She had been right all along. It was too cold to be stubborn.

I slowly began to help her. I used the toe of my shoe to kick my first shoe off and then used my actual toes to get the second done with.

Karma was pulling my pants off.

"I can do it," I said gruffly. I took her hands in mine and pushed them back towards her body.

"I can't believe you let me fall asleep," she said desperately. I could see the fear in her face.

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine!" She fought. "What if I hadn't woken up Amy?! You could've died in the night from hypothermia. Are you fucking crazy?!" She was so goddamn pissed.

"Stop," I said. I was so cold that it was hard to move. My muscles weren't having it and my legs felt numb.

"Shit," she said, watching me. She moved her hand to my side and I felt how warm she was.

"Whoa," I sighed, letting my eyes close into her touch.

"Good," she said. "Come on, get in."

"I hate this."

"It doesn't matter," Karma said, pulling me by the hand and walking me over to the bag. "Go on, get in."

I kneeled down slow and slid my body in, feeling the instant warmth that encircled me. The bag was still warm from Karma's body.

"Holy shit, this feels amazing."

"I know!" Karma yelled. She was pissed at me but also glad she woke up in time to kick my ass and save my life.

"Okay, I'm getting in now." She was coming so close to me. I wanted to be scared but all I felt was nervous. She lifted the top of the bag up and slipped inside, letting her body fall on top of mine until she was laying on me, warm as ever.

"Fuck," I exhaled, my eyes shutting as the warmth invaded me.

"I'm so fucking pissed at you right now," she confessed.

I felt her arm reach over and zip the zipper up on my left side. Soon we were completely under the bag and she was panting on top of me. I felt our bodies rising and falling rapidly and at different rates. I didn't want to open my eyes because I knew she was in there with me just livid.

She didn't speak and neither did I. After a minute or so, I felt her hands start to slowly rub at my skin.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna help you," she said.

"Karma, don't."

"Amy, I am so fucking close to just leaving this cabin and walking back to the lodge in the storm. That's how angry I am. So shut up and let me help you."

"Fine," I sighed. I refused to move though. I would let her do her thing.

She started at my side and rubbed quickly with her hands, warming it up.

"Mmmm," I hummed.

I heard her scoff out a laugh.

"Hey," I said.

"Shhhh, just relax," she countered.

I felt her hand reach down to my naked leg and rub at my thigh.

"Fuck," I said.

"What?" She stopped.

"I just…" I thought about speaking but decided against it. "Nothing…"

"Oh," she sighed knowingly. I opened my eyes a little and when I did she was staring down at me, watching me.

"Have you been watching me this whole time?"

"Maybe," she smiled. A blush rising on her cheek.

"You're such an asshole."

"Am not…" She said cheekily.

"Sometimes I think you love to torture me…"

"Maybe I do," she smiled more.

"That's not funny Karma."

"Well…" She shrugged.

"Just… Stop moving, okay?"

"But you feel so good," she snuggled up to me more until her arms were touching me everywhere.

"You get that I want to fuck you right?"

"AMY!"

"What?! That's what I'm trying to say. That's why this is awkward! We're basically naked and you're all happy to be on top of me and I just want you. This is so wrong…" I sighed angrily, trying to put off the thoughts of just rubbing her more with my hands and maybe kissing her, seeing what would happen.

"What are you thinking?" She asked after I grew too quiet.

"Fuck. Stop."

"I can't. Just tell me," Karma asked.

"I'm thinking, I should just do what I want with you."

"Why?!" She scoffed.

"Because you obviously don't want to set any fucking boundaries between us. You get to have everything you want while I'm constantly uncomfortable."

"But you said it yourself, you like the way we're touching."

"Yeah but IN A BAD WAY. IN A WAY THAT YOU DON'T LIKE."

"It's not that I don't like it…" She mused.

"What if I kissed you right now… What would you do?"

"Don't," she smiled sheepishly. Just the thought made her bashful.

"I mean it. I think I'm just going to do it. Show you what it feels like when someone refuses to give you space and forces you to feel things you're trying not to feel."

"Amy…" She looked down at my lips and then back up to my eyes. I felt a soft puff of warm air on my cheek.

"Fine," I said, leaning up and just kissing her. If she wasn't going to give me space and she wasn't going to acknowledge how odd this whole situation was than I was going to show her the problem.

I moved my hand up into her hair and made sure that she couldn't pull away. She only tried to once though before falling back into me and kissing me back, slowing us down to kiss deeper and humming into my mouth.

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" I yelled, breaking us apart.

"Whaaa-what?" She asked dazed, her eyes slowly opening.

"Karma, you just mmmmd while you were inside my mouth."

"So," she said, looking down at my lips again, not registering the problem. Or maybe she just didn't care.

"You liked it," I said.

"Yeah, so."

"So, you like it when I kiss you."

"I guess I do... So what?"

"So, WHY THE HELL AREN'T WE TOGETHER IF YOU EVEN LIKE IT WHEN I KISS YOU?!"

"Amy… Come on…"

I paused a moment but it felt way too hot in the bag.

Frantically, I began to try and unzip it but the zipper kept on catching and Karma's hands stopped mine.

"Stop!" She tried to still me.

"LET ME GO!" I yelled.

"Amy, shhhhhhhh," Karma tried to calm me and eventually I gave in, just lying there. I was stuck.

"What has gotten into you?" She asked, staring down at me.

"I hate this!" I yelled, tears rushing to my eyes.

"Oh no, sweetie," Karma said, realizing that I was beginning to cry. "Amy, I'm sorry, shhhh, please don't cry, please."

"STOP!" I yelled. "Can you let me out please?! I think I'm having a panic attack," I said, realizing that I felt stuck and trapped and the heat was too much and my head was beginning to spin.

I tried to lay as still as possible and close my eyes. I tried to pretend I was all alone in an open field.

Meanwhile, Karma hurried to unzip the bag and throw it open. She crawled out carefully and I felt the cold air brush at my body.

When I opened my eyes she was sitting on the chair by the window, staring out at the cold and hugging herself.

I took a few deep breathes and felt myself calming.

"Sorry," I breathed.

"Do you feel better?" She asked, refusing to look my way.

"You can get back in the bag, I'll just stay out here." I grabbed my jeans from the floor and put them back on.

"Do you have any idea what it feels like to know that you can't even hold me anymore without acting weird."

"Karma, you just made out with me and admitted you liked it. I'm starting to realize that my confusion has more to do with you than it does with me."

"I like you. I like all of you."

"And I like all of you. We know this already."

"Do you think it's weird that when you kissed me just now I reeeeally liked it?" She turned to face me and I could tell that she was upset.

"I don't think it's weird," I confessed. "I think it's confusing," I said, getting up and walking over to her. When I reached her I squatted down on my toes and held at her knees. "I reeeally like kissing you every time Karma."

"I know," she smiled, tears still falling. Absently, I felt my best friend necklace swinging on it's chain.

"So why are you crying?" I asked, holding her hands and looking up at her, unsure of it all.

"Maybe I've been stupid this whole time. Maybe you're right."

"I'm never right. What are you talking about?"

"Maybe I've been fighting you for no reason. I don't know… Maybe I'm just as into you as you want me to be. I mean at least that way things make sense. Ever since Reagan I've been jealous and sad. It's like I can't be happy if you're with someone."

"Karma, all I want is for you to be happy. If you want Liam, go with Liam. If you don't want to kiss me, don't kiss me," I said. "I only did that because you were hurting me."

"Yeah, but I liked it, Amy…"

"What do you want me to say?" I asked. Sometimes these conversations were so hard. If she liked me why couldn't we just be together? If she liked the way I kissed and liked laying on me and feeling me, why couldn't we just be a real couple and be happy? What was she seeing that I wasn't? Why was I the only one who kept on thinking this could really be simple?

"I wanted to be out here with you today…" She confessed.

"What?"

"I wanted to be up here far away from everyone with just you and me. I wanted to have you for as long as I could," she cried. "When it started getting quiet, I actually hid the fact that I was scared because it didn't matter to me. As long as I was with you, it didn't matter."

"Karma…" I stood up and held my head. It was hard not to respond to every little thing she said. Apparently though she had wanted to be up her just as much as me.

"You don't understand," she said. "Ever since you've been with Regan.. I've just felt like… I'm nothing to you.."

"Are you kidding? I'm with Reagan because I'm trying to get over you."

"What?" Karma gasped.

"That came out bad…" I said.

"You need to get over me?"

"Well yeah," I shrugged awkwardly. I looked at the bag and she saw as I did it. "I want you too much…" I said definitively. "And I love you." "I can't do both and still keep you as a friend." My biggest fear was losing her. That had always been my biggest fear. She wanted to be with a boy and I wanted to be with her and that just wasn't right. I had to get over her. I had to if I wanted to fix things.

"You don't have to have a girlfriend just to be with me."

"I can't be with you and pretend that I just don't feel."

"So, she helps you?"

"Yeah… I guess…" I said. Things with Reagan were complicated because they were different. I liked Reagan a lot. I cared for her. I wanted her and the things that we did. But I didn't know Reagan yet, I didn't know all about her like I knew all about Karma. "With her I can just be and she doesn't know me so nothing is right or wrong or wrong or right…"

"Do I… Are things hard with me?" She asked.

I didn't want to speak. I held my elbows and hugged by body.

Things were hard but it was because of how much I loved her and how much we'd been through.

"Amy?"

"Karma, it's just different," I breathed.

I couldn't just sleep in a sleeping bag with her because with her I'd just want to be kissing her and that was wrong.

"You can't touch me… You can't talk to me… All this time I've just been trying to get you back again, have you close and in my life but you've been pushing me away."

"I _am_ sorry," I tried.

"But you don't have to be. We can just be the way we were."

"No, we can't though," I urged. "I love you more than you love me and that's a problem, it's not okay."

"It's not a problem Amy, it's a gift."

"I don't want to be the freak," I squeaked. It was like all this time she had been missing the point. She thought as long as she accepted me we could go back to normal but it didn't work that way. I wanted her more than she wanted me and that wasn't something fun and lovely it was a curse, it was a goddamn curse.

"You're not a freak," Karma said, standing up and walking over to me. She stood before me and grabbed my hand.

"You don't know what this feels like… I just want you all the time but I can't have you and I know it's wrong."

"It's not wrong."

"It is wrong!" I yelled. "I want to kiss you! All the time I want to kiss you!"

She was probably thinking about all the hours we spent today in the cabin by the candles just pretending to be having a normal time.

"That's sweet," she said.

"It's not sweet!" I yelled. "It's painful!"

"You're being dramatic," she said.

"I AM NOT!" I yelled, pushing away from her and turning away. "This isn't a game. I didn't choose this. I didn't ask to feel fucked up and strange. I didn't ask to want you like this, more than you want me."

"I came out here today because I missed you so much I couldn't think of anywhere I'd rather be, any person I'd rather be with."

"And I like that," I said. "But what does it mean?" It just means that she misses her friend.

"I don't know what it means," she sighed. "Maybe I miss you…"

"Of course you miss me," I said. "I've been pushing you away for over a month."

"Really?" Karma asked.

"Yes…. It's obvious…" I said, turning around and grabbing her hand. "I'm always busy. If you have time I somehow don't… You know me Karma, I'm not a busy person."

"That's true," she seemed to notice. "All this time, I just thought you were trying to grow."

"I'm trying to help," I said. "If I'm away from you, you can have the life that you want. If I'm away from you, I can't screw anything up."

"I want a life _with_ you."

"But you don't want me."

"Of course I want you, that was never the question."

"Karma… Stop…"

Every time I thought things made sense she screwed them up again.

It was cold now, I felt my shiver return.

"Fuck…" I said, noticing that air was seeping in somehow.

"We have to get in the bag," she said. "At least until daylight."

"I don't know if I can do it."

"I'm not letting you stay outside."

Silently and without much of a fight, I relented again and crawled back inside the bag.

Karma seemed to get it now. She laid still and I held onto her form, choosing to be on top so I'd feel less trapped. Neither of us moved though we both breathed rather quickly.

"What are you thinking?" She asked and I sighed.

"This is the happiest I've been since the threesome when I thought I could win you."

It was a horrible truth, one that made me taste bitterness in my throat, but one that I found necessary to voice, given the time.

"Amy," she said.

"Hmm?" I looked up at her.

"If I kissed you right now, would that be okay?"

"I don't know…" Before I had kissed her but that was because I was mad. She was asking me now and to answer yes just felt wrong.

"I want to kiss you," she said. "I've been thinking about it a lot."

"You know I like it," I said. "All I think about now is how great you taste and how good you feel and how nice you sound and how perfect you are."

It sounded sappy and lame but Karma cut me off, her lips hitting mine. Her kiss wasn't hesitant at all, not like it had been before when we faked it. She pulled me into her and held me close and tasted my mouth without wondering what she was doing and if it was fine.

It was different because no one was around. We weren't practicing anymore, she was tasting me and trying to keep me with her now.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Will you kiss me?" I couldn't tell what was going on. All of a sudden she was acting weak and scared, delicate and strange.

"I guess," I said. Feeling my breath catch at the thought since our faces were already so close and our bodies were entwined. We were ontop of each other and fighting off doubts.

I took a deep breath in and she pushed her lips into mine. I moved forward and kissed her, tasting her now like I had been wanting to for months. My tongue sliding in and swimming inside, my hand at her jaw, caressing her neck and skin. I kissed her long and hard, moving this way and that. I felt her let me, I felt her give. She wasn't scared of me or mad. She wasn't worried or upset. She let me kiss her and she kissed me back. If anything I felt her grow weak as the time went on, sensitive at my touch and asking for maybe just a little bit more.

After a while I realized I had been touching her body. I had been groping her sides and pushing down greedily against her hip. My leg was between her legs and I had pulled up on her like Reagan had done to me so many times.

It was wrong of me, I pulled away.

"Sorry," I said.

"Don't apologize," Karma said.

When we broke apart I rolled over. Eventually she laid on me and covered me in heat and warmth.

"You feel so good like this," Karma said.

"If it could be just you and me, I'd want it," I spoke it aloud but felt like a fool for even saying it. _Poor Reagan_, I thought. I was truly the worst.

"It's always been just you and me," she confessed.

I let my head rest back. I let my friend lay on top of me. Eventually I fell asleep. Eventually I let it all go.

**Part III**

In the morning we were both warm. I woke up to Karma on top of me like before. We'd kissed and touched but we were still Karma and Amy, Amy and Karma. There was no way we couldn't just be us. For some reason Karma had decided that for us both. She couldn't let me grow away from her, that's why it had been so hard this whole time.

"Did it stop?" I asked.

"I think so."

The breeze wasn't loud and from my spot on the ground it looked that no snowflakes were passing. There was no longer a white-out and the air was clear and blue.

"Guess we're okay?" Karma voiced.

"I dunno," I sighed. We were worse off now more than ever.

Yeah, we'd survive but that night had been all truths and odd kisses. Karma liked it but I felt sad. When she kissed me I always liked it and when I kissed her it was like dreams coming true. But Karma was awake and unphased. Happy but who knows why. I laid in the back not wanting to leave.

Soon we'd ski down the mountain and meet up with our group and ride a bus all the way back to Austin. I'd be back with Reagan. She'd be back with Liam.

Karma got up and began to dress. She put her coat on and readied for the outside.

"Come on," she said. "Don't you want to go back?"

I turned over in the bag and began to cry into my arm. It was all too much, everything always was. I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to be with other people. I loved Reagan but I loved Karma more. I loved my mom and Bruce and Lauren but I loved Karma even more and there was nothing I could do to stop it or change it or push it away or try to just stop. It was this thing in me. All the time. All the time I wished it was her. And I hated myself. I just hated myself.

I wailed.

"Oh, sweetie," she said, throwing her jacket off and crawling back inside. I felt her climb back in and encircle me. I felt her move me until my eyes were crying straight onto her neck and my lips were touching her skin.

"I hate this," I wailed, bitterly loving her. "I hate everything." Ever since she'd rejected me it was like nothing I did made any sense. I was just trying and failing and surviving but feeling like crap.

She pat my back as the tears ran away from me.

"I love you," she tried. But her love was the problem, it had always been the problem. She loved me more than anyone. She always did.

I cried into her and hated myself.

Her lips hit my cheeks and my forehead. It took me a second to realize that she was kissing my face.

My tears had stopped as I noticed. I wanted to ask her what she was doing but if I spoke it might stop and I liked it, I really did.

She kissed my cheeks. She must have noticed that I stopped crying.

I looked up at her lost. My eyes were met with hers.

She shut her eyes slow and I watched her lean in. I closed my eyes too and felt her lips crash down onto mine half open as she stole my lip into her mouth and tasted it, opening her mouth wider sending her tongue inside to touch.

"Uhhh," I gasped weakly. Kissing her was fucking perfect.

With Reagan it was nice and hot but with Karma it was just this thing. When her tongue touched mine I felt flurries in my stomach, a warm rush of pleasure from within.

I brought my hand up to her neck and kissed her back, tasting her.

When she moaned in return I wasn't expecting it.

Beneath the sleeping bag I could feel her hands pushing at the skin under my shirt.

I rolled over on top of her and moved my hands up her arms, trapping her beneath me as we kissed, the momentum speeding up, the heat overtaking us as I rubbed my body on top of hers and fought to feel as much as I could because at any minute this could all just stop.

"I want you so much," I whispered desperately.

"I want you too," she said, reaching her hand down to my jeans and pulling my body hard into hers before reaching for my face again and pulling it into hers as she kissed me hungrily, desperately, like she had been needing this just as much as me and for exactly that long.

"What are we doing?!" I asked, pulling my lips from hers and pressing a hand down at her neck to get her to stop.

"It doesn't matter," Karma said.

"It does though," I said. Of course it mattered.

"Amy, it doesn't matter," she said. "I want you right now, okay?" She asked. "I want this."

"Okay," I said shakily, looking down at her and accepting that this could just be right now or it could be something or it could mean nothing but she wanted me now. She wanted me right fucking now.

I leaned down onto her and kissed her again, fighting her lips to taste more of her than she was tasting.

I felt my hand press down on her breast. She gasped in my mouth as I squeezed. I felt her leg wrap around mine too as if the pleasure for her was all too real, even more so than mine.

I kissed down her neck, licking hungrily at the place where her heart beat out strong, throbbing intensely now as I pushed her neck into my mouth and tasted it.

"Uhhhh," she moaned, hitting me hard on my back with her fist.

"Ow!" I yelled, pulling away.

"Don't stop!" She begged, pulling me back to lick at her.

I couldn't help the smile that rose on my face.

I moved my hand down her body, feeling her side and her hip, her stomach and the way her body reacted to my touched. I used my nails and she shivered..

She wrapped her leg around me again, moving under me as I kissed back up her neck and took her earlobe into my mouth and sucked it.

"Fuck, you feel good," I breathed. "What took you so long?"

"Uhhh," she moaned, pushing my head until she was kissing me again.

"Stop talking," she ordered, smiling up at me and shaking her head. She pulled my face close and shut me up by trapping my lips between hers and tasting me again.

I could feel her legs cross around my back as I moved up on her body and dragged myself up past her center.

"Fuck," she moaned.

"How come you get to talk?" I asked, taking her wrists in my hands and rolling us over so that she would be on top of me.

She sat up a bit, her body pressing down on my center as she threw her shirt off and unzipped the bag a bit to sit up on me and push me down.

"What are you doing?" I asked. She had her hand behind her back and she was unhooking her bra. "Karma-"

"Shhhh," she said, smiling. She pushed me down with a hand strong on my chest and I watched as her bra tumbled off.

"Fuck…" I said, looking up at her there on top of me.

She crawled forward onto me like a cat.

"I want you to touch me," she said, kissing me hard and quick, pulling my hand from my side and moving it to the side of her breast, pushing me to hold her.

"Fuck," I breathed again, closing my eyes. She felt so good.

"Touch me," she said, moving my other hand up too. I didn't know what to do. I rest my hands where she had placed them and just waited, taking in the taste of her and the feel. I didn't want to be greedy or wrong. "Amy, please," she begged, sitting up on me and tugging at my shirt, lifting it off.

I laid back without moving.

"Up, up, up," she motioned with her hands, leaning back. I sat up and she reached her arms around me, undoing my bra and pulling it off.

She looked down at me and smiled, leaning forward and kissing me softer.

"You're so beautiful," she said, holding at my neck and kissing down the side. I felt as she kissed down and found my breast.

"KARMA!" I gasped as she sucked at the top of my boob above the nipple but so close it was dangerous. She grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands down off of her, pressing them down.

"I want to touch you," she said, looking up at me deliciously determined.

She lowered her head back down and I watched as her tongue came out slow and licked at my hard nipple.

"OH FUCK!" I screamed. She was still holding me down. I couldn't fight. She took my nipple into her mouth and sucked on it, placing it gently between her teeth and teasing it with her tongue. "OH MY GOD!" I tried to speak but the air had left me. I felt her hand trail down to my pants and struggle to unbutton them.

"What are you doing?" I asked. But I knew what she was doing. She wanted to touch me. It was all happening fast.

"If you won't touch me," she said with a tone of threat and so-there in her voice.

"Karma, this is crazy," I said, trying to stop it. I wanted it, yes, but this was so sudden. It honestly came out of nowhere.

"It's not though, Amy. It's not crazy. We've been fighting it." _We?_

"I haven't been fighting anything," I said.

She stared at me cheekily, sliding her hand below the hem of my jeans and under my underwear to feel where she had never felt.

"Fuck," I said, my head falling back.

Her fingers slipped down inside and felt.

"Whoa," she said, taking a deep breath in and almost hissing as she inhaled. "You are sooo wet," she said, looking up at me in near disbelief while I held my head. OF COURSE I WAS WET! I HAD BEEN WANTING HER ALL YEAR! "Shit…" She sighed, teasing me with her fingers down there.

"Fuck," I breathed in again, holding my breath.

She touched me again and again and I came with her fingers on my clit. I came too fast, she barely did anything. I felt it as my liquid rushed over her fingers. I felt my body stop completely before turning over and shaking itself down in pleasure because it had climbed a mountain slowly and skied right down over the other side.

"Fuck," I squeezed out, curling up as best I could with her hovering over me like she was.

"Fuck," she answered, leaning down and kissing my cheek and my forehead and my nose and my neck.

I felt her laugh lightly and lay down over me, holding me to her as much as she could in that position.

"Jesus Christ Amy, why didn't you fucking tell me?!" She huffed.

"Tell you what?" I asked.

"How _much_ you wanted me." She said. "I would've done this a long time ago."

"I-I thought you already knew…" I said.

"I knew you loved me but I didn't know you were _THAT_ turned on _ALL_ the time," she said.

She crawled over my body and snuggled up behind me, holding me close. I felt her arm snake in over my stomach as she pulled me to her and put her lips on my neck, pecking it lightly. The fire still burned in me, wanting her.

"Fuck…" I huffed again. Coming down from her was heavenly. I reached my hand back and held her soft face. "Just… Fuck…" It was all I could say. I felt her naked skin on my back, warming me, moving me.

"Mmmmm," she hummed soft and low in my ear. "I like you like this…"

"You are insane," I huffed out. I couldn't even fathom what had gotten into her. But I didn't want to think about that now. All I wanted was to stay where I was and feel what I was feeling.

I pulled her hand up and kissed it.

"I love you so much," I huffed, placing her hand on my face and making her touch me.

She kissed my naked shoulder and squeezed me tight with her other arm.

We laid there a long time before even thinking of going back down.


End file.
